Inner Flight

(This post must be read while listening to Searching by Roy Ayers.)

Ups and downs. That's the best way to describe the time here. As you can probably tell from the blog, it's usually way more ups than downs, but when you do get down, it's so different from normal. Something to do with being away from your usual people and things who help, and it hits you quicker.

A more chilled weekend. Friday night just chilled at my place with the student teacher who I've become close to and she's helping me a bit with my Japanese. We just watched some Ally McBeal (reminds me of home, Hugh and Jenna used to watch it in our house at uni and during college I used to watch) - which strangely enough made me miss... something but I don't know what. I think when you're in that mood anything can set you off. Saturday headed down to Kobe to meet up with a friend I hadn't seen for a while. Picked up some great music that I'd probably be raving about were I feeling a bit more genki:


Unfortunately my friend had to work the following day and so only had time for dinner, so it looked like I'd be heading back up to Tanba early that night which seemed kind of shit at the time, when you're in that mood the last thing you want to do is be alone in the inaka. Called a friend who was going out in Osaka and headed out there instead after dinner. Was great to catch up with my friend before that though, we just chilled in an izakaya having a few beers and some nabe, smoking vanilla cigarettes listening to Coltrane (thanks again Japanese restaurants) and talking to each other about Life Plans (she's deciding whether to leave the country on an Adventure- of course, my advice was Go For It.) Was still feeling a bit down, and in a kind of dont care mood stupidly spent Y15000 (£75) that I don't really have to spare on a ring... which most frustratingly couple hours later was scratched to shit in the club... stupid.

Commercial hiphop club, got drunker than I've been in ages. I don't say this proudly. I know I'm not 16 anymore and it's not cool or novel to get really wasted. Maybe being on a bit of a downer pushed me on, I don't know... but either way I was out of it. Didn't do anything stupid though so was okay. Clubbing nights in the UK generally end with a kebab, over here its all about the 5AM gyudon (beef and rice bowl). Came back to Aogaki (which is always a lonesome experience in the morning), slept through my stop for the first time ever and ended up even more in the countryside than normal. Even more pretty there though. Came back sunday mid morning, went for ramen with my supervisor, then we went back to mine to play winning eleven 10 (pro evo) for most of the afternoon. Had more people round in the last few weeks than I have since I got here practically. (Still single figures I think, I'm not really living the Tanba life wholeheartedly.) It's weird, you can have weekends you spend mostly by yourself and feel fine, yet then you can spend time with different people over a whole weekend and feel lonely. I guess when you're in that mood, nothing you can do really.

I'm feeling a little introspective at the moment. Situations have changed a little, I'm more than halfway through my time, thinking about the future, the past, etc etc. Feel like my perspective is changing. Missing people I love, missing people I know I shouldn't be, thinking about What's Next after I get back. Will things have changed? What do I want for the future? In thought.

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P.S. Two new random banners, Beer and Snow.